Take that sword and shove it

In all my years on this fine planet of ours I’ve learned many things. One of the most important things being that if you’re going to dress up for Halloween as a child do not carry anything aside from your candy pail, pillowcase or whatever your choice of candy holder is. Once you get out there and on the sidewalk you’re not going to want to be carrying that fairy wand around anymore and mom will end up schlepping it around for the rest of the night. But who’s going to carry it when you’re old enough to venture out with only your friends? Yep, that’s all you dude. Unless of course you decide to ditch it somewhere.

As an adult you continue to learn lessons about costume choice. For example, a wand may no longer part of your repertoire but wearing wings would be super cool when you go as an angel to Halloween parties. Experience has taught me that this is also not true. In fact it would be the opposite of cool, it’s plain out annoying to yourself and others around you when you’re hitting them in the face because you forget you have these wings sticking out from your back. And because your mother is (hopefully) not around at this point, the wings get ditched in the washroom (along with your dignity, but that’s not exclusively on Halloween… am I right?).

This morning I posted a series of Tweets about my ride into work, all of them were regarding an abundance of costumes on the Translink system.

I eventually found out that there was some kind of anime convention over at UBC. No big deal, not exactly my thing but who am I to judge a person’s hobbies? And how does one get to UBC, especially when 90% of those dressed in various anime costumes looked to be barely driving age? They take the skytrain followed by the B-Line. Which is exactly how I get to work.

It’s quite the trip to see people in costumes that early in the morning roaming the city, especially when it is not quite October 31st yet. To be honest what I think shocked me the most was that I recognized the people as wearing anime costumes, because I do not know anime… probably couldn’t exactly tell you what it is. Aside from cartoons people use to star in random music videos on YouTube.

Like I said, it doesn’t bother me that you’re wandering around in costumes, but it does bother me when your costume has a large prop. Like these people:

Care of @sandyrai

You see, at 9am on Saturday the buses and skytrains are busy, like weekdays. People getting to work, going to various summertime activities, doing a walk of shame, etc. Large props, when you’re sweaty and cuddled up to your neighbour in ways that probably shouldn’t be done until the 3rd date, are not welcome. By anyone. To be assaulted by a prop without the $15 cover normally charged on Halloween plus the alcohol induced happiness does not make my morning routine any better.

Next time you’re heading to something requiring large props, may I ask you on behalf of myself and transit riders everywhere, to please choose a not-so-busy route or time to transport your axes or spears or whatever across the city. Or find a character that doesn’t need such a cumbersome object.  If my years of experience preparing Halloween costumes has taught me anything it’s that wandering around with some sort of object as part of your costume is fun for about half an hour.

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About Jen S

The purpose of life is to find humorous blog material
This entry was posted in Events, Odd. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Take that sword and shove it

  1. SpiderRider3 says:

    “…wandering around with some sort of object as part of your costume is fun for about half an hour.” Unless your costume is a traffic control person and that object is one of those slow/stop paddles. That never get’s boring!

    It’s only a matter of time before Translink starts charging people for bringing on items over a certain size.

  2. Pingback: The heat is on | Tales of translink

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